Biting Your Fingers Isn't Sexy.

At least... not from what I can tell. I always see women doing it and I assume that they assume that they look sexy. But unless you're a supermodel who literally bleeds sex appeal, it's pretty hard to pull off. Believe me, I tried it:

Not Sexy. A little deranged if anything.

Um... maybe slightly more sexy than before. But not exceedingly so.

I don't know... is it sexy?

Let's put on glasses... does that... Oh. Nope. Not sexy.

How about the moronic Katy Perry baby face? Sexy? Nope.

WHAT IS THIS?!

In conclusion: I bite my thumb at finger-biting.

I can't make it sexy. Props to you if you can. Although you probably can't; you just think you can. I guess I'll never understand it. I guess I should remove "Posing For Playboy" from my bucket list. Just kidding.

It's too late for that.

Back up off my frostbite.

I do this weird thing where I'm possessive of bad weather. When the weather is bad, I'm proud of it. I know it's completely asinine, but it's true. I really take pride in how sucky the weather in Nebraska is. The windchill is intense, the humidity blows, and the thunderstorms kill people, and even though I hate being here to witness it, I love telling people about it who don't live here.

I love talking to my friends and relatives in places with more stable climates.

"How's the weather there?"

"Oh, it's absolutely beautiful! How about there?"

"Third tornado warning this week! Golf ball-sized hail, even!"

or

"It's 75 degrees here today!"

"Wow, because it's -3 here with a windchill of -20."

I'm always expecting the response to be, "You win!"

Do other people feel this way or is it just me?