Anyway, it was about how women feel the need to hide parts of themselves in order to make their relationships work. This made me feel a few different things:
1. Do guys ever hide any part of themselves? Kinda doesn't seem like it, because they're always farting and checking out other chicks. And if they don't hide that, what kind of horrendous details ARE they keeping?
2. I am so guilty of this. I feel like I can't be myself around a lot of people because I will frighten them or repulse them or intimidate them or they won't think I'm smart enough or funny enough or pretty enough... or that I'm too smart and not fun... I have done this for years. All I want is for people to like me, even if it's not ME. I could get all psychoanalytic on your butts here and explain my deep-seeded desire for affection because... you know what? Never mind.
So you know what? Enough is enough. No more trying to make myself seem interesting or smart or desirable. Here's the real me. Think what you will.
My name is [insert whatever name you want here]. I'm in my 20's and am also in college, even though I'm not very good at it. I was born and raised in this great (bahahahaha) state of Nebrasky. I bleached a section of my hair blonde in high school because I thought it was cool, and I still think that. My pants are a size 12. My bra is a size 38DD. I have a cat that is horribly behaved and mean to everyone but I still think she's pretty much the cutest funniest thing in the world, even though that kind of makes me a junior crazy cat lady. I lay in my bed and make dinosaur noises on a regular basis. I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue but sometimes I get frustrated and just cheat. I think Geena Davis is possibly the coolest person to ever live. Tina Fey is the second coolest. One time I saw John Stamos on a plane and he told me I was pretty. Just kidding, I stole that from Mean Girls, which is one of my all time favorite movies. It's number 3, after The American President, which turns me into a mushy heap of political romanticism, and Chicago. I am obsessed with Musical Theatre and if I had my way I'd be on Broadway even though I'm not skinny enough or talented enough in real life. I am a computer snob and I can tell you 10 reasons my Mac kicks your PC right in the hard drive if you want me to. I'd have to think of them all first though. My iPhone is my life... it goes everywhere with me and if I didn't have it I'd probably cry. I wear vampire fangs in public, sing and dance in the car, and pretend I know how to use chopsticks even though I'm not sure I really do.
I'm overly emotional, I'm competitive and kind of a sore loser. Poor grammar drives me crazy. I have bipolar and while it's usually well-controlled, sometimes you can totally tell and I apologize for saying I wanted to shoot you in the face. I sort of meant it at the time but I don't mean it now. I can't sight-read music... or read it that well at all. I have no upper body strength and I'd probably trip over something and die if a zombie was chasing me.
My biggest turn-offs are people who don't understand my humor and automatically make it unfunny by saying something irrelevant, trying to correct me or stating the obvious (Hel-LO, that was sarcasm you moron!), people who think Obama wasn't born in the United States (Article 2 Section 1 of the UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION anyone?!), and people who make a lot of noise when they eat. I also think Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh should go screw themselves and/or each other and leave the rest of the world alone so we don't have to hear any more of their b.s. Bill Maher is kind of a tool too but at least he's a little bit smart.
Also I'm obviously a narcissist since I just spent this much time talking about myself. But that's the real me. Take me or leave me. (RENT for the win!)
No comments:
Post a Comment