Oooh, BURN!

This post is dedicated to my Flip-Flop tan. Yes, a tan. Don't act so surprised.

Nothing I put on my skin works. This is seriously the rule. If I put it on me, it instantly loses any and all effect. My facewash leaves me more greasy and broken out. My acne cream, which 2 years ago I didn't even NEED but then I started to have good skincare habits and wash my face and stuff and started breaking out like it was puberty all over again, has no effect on my titanium zits even though the stuff says 99% of people saw clearer skin while using it. (Longest sentence ever?) My moisturizer appears to only make me oily.

And now that it's summer, there are the added bonuses of bugspray and sunscreen. Which after yesterday I no longer believe should even exist, since they clearly are 100% ineffective. I went to a College World Series game yesterday. I sat outside in the hot sun for 6 hours in the Omaha heat, and let me tell you, it was hot as balls. I went with my friend Kara, who is pretty much as pale as I am, at least in the legs department. I applied sunscreen at 9:30am. We were in line until 11:30 or so, and then they let us into the ballpark. I reapplied as soon as we sat down. Then I reapplied every hour. And what was the result? This:

I can't even wear clothes now.

I read an article that says all sunscreen is basically the same after about SPF 45. That's what I was using. Which begs the question: WHAT DO I DO NOW?! I am on the hunt now for the world's best sunscreen, because this summer is going to be a summer full of baseball games, bike rides and barbecues. (wait, do I even own a bike? ...)

Also, is there anything I can start eating that will keep mosquitos from biting me? Because I practically dump Off! all over me and I woke up today scratching a bite literally the size of a penny.

Summer is making me her bitch.

Maybe that's my superpower... my skin instantly neutralizes anything and everything. Which is kind of a crappy super power.