By the way, I changed my background on my blog to space, temporarily. I love space. Do you ever just lay in bed thinking about what a paradox the human race is? How we're so amazingly advanced, and yet, in the scheme of the whole universe we are so insignificant? How we are barely a particle in a vast, infinite universe?

What? Oh... yeah, me neither.....

Employment and Marriage, OR, Things that adults talk about.

There have been 3 things on my minds lately, and I'm going to pick through them one by one in front of you, right now.

1. I have a job.

This is great! I am a wage-earning adult! The problem is that I'm a pansy and I work outside. (At a baseball stadium.) The last couple of days I've actually had to wear a winter coat to prevent frostbite and hypothermia. Probably. I was just miserable because it was really cold. And everyone kept asking me if I was staying warm and I wanted to yell, "NO YOU MORON, I'M NOT KEEPING WARM, IT'S 38 FREAKING DEGREES AND I'VE BEEN OUT HERE FOR 4 HOURS ALREADY!" But I have to be all professional and crap and be like, "Doing my best!" (grin). It's surprisingly easy for me to be kind and courteous and professionally chipper at work though. It's like I have a customer service switch that has been off all my life and now suddenly you give me a walkie-talkie and some responsibilities and thwack it's flipped on. WEIRD. Also I'm pretty sure I saw my 7th grade social studies teacher tonight. The reason I think so is because he looks like Bill Gates only less attractive (gap-toothed and huge nose). I laughed because he didn't recognize me. Hopefully it's because I no longer resemble a preteen female Spock. But maybe it's because I was wearing sunglasses and smiling, neither of which he ever saw me do.

2. My biological clock doesn't know poop from applesauce apparently.

I want to get married. It's just hit me in the last 6 months. Actually "hit" isn't the right word. It's more like... it's crept up on me. It's like there's someone sitting behind me whisperingmaaaaaaariage and the whispering is getting progressively louder as time passes. First it was like you should think about the possibility of marriage in the future.. Then it was like look, your friends are getting married. They're so happy. Now it's like you want to get married, don't you? Pretty soon it will be like You should get married. And then... GET MARRIED! GET MARRIED NOW! TRICK SOMEONE INTO MARRYING YOU OR YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ALONE! ALOOOOOONE!!!!

So that's been fun. It's actually pretty stupid because I'm way too young to get married. I've also had some pretty messed up relationships in the past that have confused me about what love actually is and what I actually want from life. Allow me to demonstrate this with a graph:

As you can see, the Y axis represents Age in Years. As you can also see, I do things a lot earlier. I could have added events such as "first period" and "death" but I think this gives you the general idea. Also I completely ran out of room. Long story short: I'd like to get married and have babies now, please.

3. ...

I don't really remember what 3 was supposed to be. I'm exhausted. So I think I'm just going to end this post now. Because who's even going to read it? Nobody, that's who. Although I'd love to be proved wrong. Anyone? Anyone?

No?

Fine.

Out.

xx

Let Them Eat Cake

It's March Second! And March Second is Cake Day!

I baked a cake today, from scratch, with love and care and artful craftsmanship. Well... I don't know about artful, but it's at least sort of cute. Anyway, I spent probably 3 hours of my life on this cake, whipping egg whites and creaming butter, and all that jazz. Stupidly, I realized that I really had nobody to share the cake with after it was done, sitting frosted and also undesired on my counter. A whole cake. Which is actually exactly what you want to eat when you realize you don't really have friends... a whole cake.

Of course I have friends. But I'm at that transitional phase in my life where I am starting to lose touch and common ground with the friends I once had (not that I really had that many to begin with) and am trying to make new ones. Seems like every day I notice a new person that has deleted me from Facebook. I know it's petty but it kind of hurts my feelings. The rumor mill, who shall remain nameless, might have had a little something to do with it, and that's fine because they obviously weren't my friends anyway if they believe him over me. But sometimes they're people who I just want to be like "Really? YOU deleted ME?!" Anyway, I'm getting off topic.

What's my topic again? Oh, right, friends and cake. So I wanted to share my cake with someone... but I couldn't really think of anyone to share it with. Because everyone has gone off to college and I... well... haven't gone off. My life seems to be following a different path of enlightenment than theirs so to speak. I look at my mom and wonder how she found her best friends now. The first one she met in Lamaze class when she was 18 (score one for teen pregnancy). So that's out. The other one she met at work, but it turns out they knew each other from middle school. Since I still talk to exactly 0 friends I had in middle school on a regular basis, and my job is... well we'll see when we get there. But anyway... I don't know.

I'm making friends at church left and right, which is awesome. I even got asked on a date! (it's not a REAL date, mind you, but still, this is big for me.) That's happened all of like... oh I don't know... 2 other times in my entire life. Maybe. I'm not even sure. I can certainly count the number of times I've had feelings for someone on one hand (with some fingers cut off). Anyway, I'm just hoping that some of these friendships will grow to be deep and lasting... and that I will have lots of people to share cake with next year.

Biting Your Fingers Isn't Sexy.

At least... not from what I can tell. I always see women doing it and I assume that they assume that they look sexy. But unless you're a supermodel who literally bleeds sex appeal, it's pretty hard to pull off. Believe me, I tried it:

Not Sexy. A little deranged if anything.

Um... maybe slightly more sexy than before. But not exceedingly so.

I don't know... is it sexy?

Let's put on glasses... does that... Oh. Nope. Not sexy.

How about the moronic Katy Perry baby face? Sexy? Nope.

WHAT IS THIS?!

In conclusion: I bite my thumb at finger-biting.

I can't make it sexy. Props to you if you can. Although you probably can't; you just think you can. I guess I'll never understand it. I guess I should remove "Posing For Playboy" from my bucket list. Just kidding.

It's too late for that.

Back up off my frostbite.

I do this weird thing where I'm possessive of bad weather. When the weather is bad, I'm proud of it. I know it's completely asinine, but it's true. I really take pride in how sucky the weather in Nebraska is. The windchill is intense, the humidity blows, and the thunderstorms kill people, and even though I hate being here to witness it, I love telling people about it who don't live here.

I love talking to my friends and relatives in places with more stable climates.

"How's the weather there?"

"Oh, it's absolutely beautiful! How about there?"

"Third tornado warning this week! Golf ball-sized hail, even!"

or

"It's 75 degrees here today!"

"Wow, because it's -3 here with a windchill of -20."

I'm always expecting the response to be, "You win!"

Do other people feel this way or is it just me?

My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning...

...WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?! It's hard to watch.

Hello, my name is Unimportant!

Introductions are cliche in my opinion but perhaps of slight necessity. However... my name is unimportant, as is my age. I'll say this: I'm a young female with vague aspirations and low tolerance for stupidity. Like the other day, I yelled at a lady for looking at cheese. I'd tell you more of that story, but I like the mysterious and possibly gloriously deranged image it projects on me to leave it at that.

I made my first eBay bid tonight! That's a big deal for me, because I'm not very good at figuring out the logistics of online shopping. It's more trouble than it's worth a lot of times, unless you know what you're doing, which I clearly do not. Anyway, I made a bid on a human spine.

JUST KIDDING! I don't have $500 to spend of a spine. If I did though....