Why Do People Talk to Me?

No, seriously.

I just... like, what is wrong with me? Why can't I be serious about anything? I can, if I try hard enough, but I'm really not down with that whole lack of charisma thing. Why would anyone marry someone without charisma? It's beyond me. But it happens all the time. But that's neither here nor there.

Wow, look at that! I somehow managed to work marriage into the conversation yet again! Someone needs to just propose to me already. I mean... what?

Oh, right. I'm a crazy person. I'm sure you've already figured that out by now, but I am just now realizing the extent of it. Like for example, this email I sent to my English professor:

Hi, my name is [Glory Allegory] and I'm a procrastinator, which is why this email is being sent, past midnight, on Monday. Also because I just remembered. I'm in your English class on Mondays and Wednesdays from 12-2. I sit front and center. You can't miss me. I have bangs. Anyway, you said to email you but I'm not sure what this email is supposed to be about. I'm just wingin' it. Most people probably didn't even say anything which I consider to be impolite. But now I've probably made this awkward.

Now I'm going to ask you a legitimate question. Would it be okay if I used my blog for journal checks? I'd use my real journal but 50% of the time the pages are either a list of things I hate or a page full of swear words, neither of which I would consider to be up to my usual standard for my writing. You can ever READ my blog. No really, please read it. The only other people who read it are this guy who is friends with me on Facebook that was foolish enough to let me borrow his really nice camera once and also my neighbor. Anyway, you can let me know in person or via email.

This has been sufficiently awkward. Probably. Not really for me because I'm used to people thinking I'm crazy. But now you likely think I'm insane and have terrible grammar. I don't. I promise. I just write like I think sometimes. My papers will be much better.

Sincerely,

Glory Allegory

First row, third seat from the left (and right)

You see what I mean? Most people were just like "here's your email" and sent it without having to be socially challenged about it. But OHHHH NO. Not me. Gotta take every opportunity to demonstrate my insanity and run with it. In my teeth.

What's my point? I have no idea. All I know is that everyone thinks I'm funny when I talk. Even when I'm not trying to me. My mom laughed at me when I said I should have killed myself today. Granted I WASN'T serious, it was in reference to a burrito, but still. How many mothers would laugh at something like that? Okay, this was a bad example. My mother is wonderful and loves me very much and knows I would not try to kill myself. It was simply the delivery of the line that was comical, I guess. Wow, I'm digging myself a hole.

Anyway, forget it. I'm not making any sense at all. Here, look at this picture I drew in Adobe Illustrator!

It's a dinosaur in an astronaut helmet! Do you like it?!

Sigh. I'm gonna go look at pictures of space on the internet.