Ridiculous Speculation, Part II

Really only 2 days until I'm climbing aboard an airplane and heading off to the magical land of Utah! I can't stop thinking about it! No. Really. I can't. It's in my head 24/7. So I'm going to tell you more about what I'm going to be doing!

On Saturday morning, October 8th, I will wake up confused about my surroundings. Then slowly it will dawn on me that I'm on Matt's aunt Kay's couch. Everyone else will likely be awake already and will say "Good morning, sunshine!" and I'll mumble something incoherent and stagger my way back to the bedroom where my suitcase is. I will rifle through it, still half awake, and select something likely entirely too formal for the brunch we'll be going to, but I'd like to make a good impression so I won't really care. Then I'll shuffle into the bathroom with my clothing and my cosmetics bag. I'll set everything on the counter and then realize I forgot underwear so I'll have to go back to my suitcase and get them.

Then, I will attempt to turn on the shower. I'm notoriously bad at figuring out how to turn on other peoples' showers. 50% of the time I have to stumble out naked and wrapped in a towel to the house owner and ask them to turn on their shower for me. They'll roll their eyes and do something so simple that I spend my entire shower ashamed and wanting to die.

After my shower I will likely blow-dry my hair partially. This might be the most important part of my day.

Then I'll go to the obligatory brunch with people I don't know very well, and I'll sit and smile politely in my sweater and be quiet so as not to frighten anyone. Hopefully Matt will come sit by me and play tic-tac-toe with me.

The we'll go back to Kay's house and get ready for Ash's wedding. I'll put on my skirt and sweater and then go stand outside to make sure it's not windy. If it is windy, I'll come back inside and safety pin the inside folds of my skirt so it doesn't catch the wind and I don't flash everyone my leopard print underwear.

Then we'll go to the wedding and I'll make a fool of myself doing the Chicken Dance and Cotton-Eyed Joe and the Macarena and maybe even the Electric Slide. Hopefully they'll also play some Lady Gaga. Then I'll finagle Matt into letting me have his piece of wedding cake. Then I will probably not catch the bouquet because let's face it... who's going to marry me? Then I might cry in the bathroom about how I'm going to die a virgin.

Then, after the wedding, we'll come back to Kay's house and get ready for the Cougars game. I'll try to convince Matt that we should paint our faces like big Y's but he will say no so I'll just do it on my nails. Then we'll go to Lavell Edwards Stadium and watch BYU beat San Jose State and I'll get so excited I'll probably cry.

And that's what is going to happen on October 8th.