I highlighted my favorite ones again.
68. The Federalist papers
69. The word “vaginal.”
70. Taking notes while reading
71. When people give you some searching look, and you ask “what?” and they look away and pretend to be nonchalant and say “oh, nothing.”
72. How when you get a new operating system on your computer, it doesn’t really change anything except the little things you really like. (Yeah, Snow Leopard, I’m talkin’ ‘bout you.”
73. Our stupid unicameral.
74. The word “Stinky.”
75. How when I wear any kind of V-neck I show cleavage and look inevitably slutty, but people with small boobs can wear a shirt with a v-neck to their belly button and it’s ok people you still can’t see anything.
76. Feminine Hygiene Product commercials. (Always stupid, always uncomfortable.)
77. When your lipstick accidentally ends up in the washer.
78. Unloading the dishwasher.
79. The way I actually shed more than the cat or the dog.
80. Cellulite.
81. The way necklaces turn around and you forget you’re wearing them and therefore are walking around with the chain clasp showing like ALL DAY.
82. When your nose really, really itches but you can’t scratch it without looking like you’re picking your nose.
83. Chain emails!!!
84. CHAIN TEXTS!!!!!!
85. When I’m texting and it’s been like half an hour since I sent the text and the recipient hasn’t texted me back so I look at my phone and it turns out I didn’t even send the message.
86. People who use small animals as accessories.
87. Falling asleep in public.
88. My stupid spider fingers.
89. When you’re chewing gum and it’s all gross and flavorless and you desperately want to spit it out but there’s no place to do it so you just keep chewing.
90. When anyone feels the need to call me “Shorty” or “Boo.”
91. Red Pick-up trucks. Seriously, it’s a jerk car. Everyone I know with a red truck? I totally can’t stand!
92. When people call me "kid" or "kiddo." Especially if they're YOUNGER than me.
93. When there are just like, random traffic cones in the road for no apparent reason.
94. When streets don’t have turn lanes!
95. When ignorant people ask if because I’m from Nebraska, I drive a tractor to school. I usually answer “no, I ride a horse.”
96. When people DO drive tractors. On highways. Really slow. Across both lanes. Believe me, it happens WAY more than it should.
97. Rush Limbaugh
98. World of Warcraft- the very idea of it.
99. The way schools are constantly freezing all the time.
100. Smelling like food.
101. When people try to stifle my creativity. (Ex. “No, you don’t need to paint those, they look just fine.”)
102. When people randomly take off their shoes in public. And then their feet smell really bad. That is so not ok.
103. The awful sound alarm clocks make.
104. Highly specific internet polls, and their largely unsurprising results. (Do you know an animal that has saved someone’s life? 97% said no.)
105. The fact that I know all the words to “Womanizer.”
106. Old Men who reckon they’re really good with computers. (They’re not.)
107. Unimaginative newspaper headlines. (“Obama to Give Speech”)
108. Not being invited to weddings I didn’t want to go to anyway. (Ahem, DAD.)
109. Inappropriate-looking sign language that I help but laugh at.
110. The way fat comedians always feel the need to wear patterned suits. (That’s right, John Candy, that means you.)
111. When people read joke books in public.
112. My stupid passport picture in which I look like I’m a bow-tie wearing vampire who doesn’t own a hair brush.
113. Self-righteous religious bigots.
114. Trying to take a photo when your camera is set to video mode.
115. Not knowing whether or not someone is still alive. “Oh yeah. Wait, is he still around?” “…I have no idea.”
116. Crying clowns.
117. When people feel the need to do “the party boy.”
118. Really thin strips of facial hair.
118 and a half. Actually, most facial hair in general.
119. When people think the saxophone is sexy.
120. People who go to Disney World and then act miserable the whole time.
121. Halloween masks and the way they always smell weird.
122. Samuel L. Jackson’s hats.
123. The “Hey, everyone, I got that intellectual joke!” laugh people do at the movies sometimes.
124. The majority of my neighbour.
125. The way Tyler Perry perpetuates stereotypes in EVERY SINGLE MOVIE he makes.
126. Offensive spam emails.
127. Trying to take your coat off in the car.
128. When people squeeze your hand prematurely while shaking hands and you get stuck looking like a weenie.
129. Rebel flags. SERIOUSLY. The south lost the war, get over it.
130. Wine experts who say things such as “On the nose, hints of oak and leather.”
131. People who thing Physical Education is a viable exam subject at school. No, it’s totally not.
132. When people walk really slowly down the street in front of you and they take up the whole pavement so you can’t get by and when you do get by they give you a dirty look.
133. Americans who go abroad and instead of bothering to learn some useful phrases in the local language just speak really loudly and slowly like everyone else is an idiot.
134. America’s Got Talent. Is it named ironically?
135. Guys who think they’re really cool because they’re wearing a visor.
136. Abercrombie employees. I'm sorry your modeling career didn't work out. But you don’t have to be a lazy idiot. And you DEFINITELY don’t need to suggest I layer anything.
137. People who wear trashy graphic tees. “If You’re Cute, I’m Single.”
138. When people step on my toes, especially if I’m wearing fabulous shoes.
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