So I was sitting in my bedroom alone at 8:00 on a Saturday night and I realized that nobody will ever want to date me because I'm a crazy person.
Just kidding. I didn't just realize this. I've known it for quite some time now. But I was thinking that I should try online dating, since only someone who has never met me in person would ever agree to go on a date with me. So I decided to come up with a profile. And I thought I'd share it here first.
Hello! My name is Glory Allegory and I'm looking for the father of my children! To determine whether or not you'd like to impregnate me, here are some things you should know. I'm currently a 20-something student living in my parents' basement. I don't go to a "real" college because I have no real aspirations yet, as all of my career goals are almost certainly unattainable. Also I'm cheap. As you might have guessed, I'm an artist! I also love baseball, the History Channel, and anything that has to do with George Washington. In my free time, I cut myself. I also talk to my cat in weird voices and watch My Little Pony. In a relationship, I bring a sense of humor that can best be described as self-incriminating.Likes: Cats, Space, Dinosaurs, Geena Davis, Presidents, Baseball, Music that you've never heard of before.
Dislikes: People.
I hope that I've sparked your interest! Let me know if you'd like to procreate with me!!! ;)
Oh yeah.
I'd date me.
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