I highlighted my favorite ones.
1. When people feel the need to take up two parking spaces
2. Doing math homework
3. Cigarettes, Cigarette smoke, People who smoke cigarettes near me.
4. The colour yellow
5. Cadillac Escalades, especially the pick-up truck ones.
6. Hyenas
7. When people who feel the need to hit, bang, rattle, or pound on the glass at the zoo.
8. People who spit in public on the sidewalk
9. 72nd Street, especially in the morning.
10. Mullets
11. Guys in v-necks or unbuttoned shirts with chest hair.
12. Mustaches.
13. The Kardashians
14. Depression
15. Math
16. Excessive Humidity
17. Excessive PDA
18. People who can't control their children and therefore don't care to attempt it.
19. People who think I'm a stripper (you know who you are, chain-smoking dingo freak.)
20. Unnecessarily loud chewing
21. When people poke me in the side
22. Coffee grounds
23. Insomnia
24. People who litter, especially in view of a waste receptacle (I LOVE the word receptacle).
25. People who feel the need to tell me obvious things, ie "You have huge boobs."
26. When you feel like you're going to sneeze and then don't.
27. Swallowing large pills.
28. When people explain to me calmly that I am going to hell.
29. Small-minded, uneducated, self-righteous school board members.
30. Monday
31. When people unnecessarily use pig latin
32. Windows operating systems
33. People who don't pay attention at stop lights
34. Open-toed boots. wtf.
35. Wind pants
36. People who tailgate me
37. How some metal turns my skin green
38. Losing an earring back
39. People who tell me I shouldn't recycle
40. When people cram their SUV's in compact parking
41. Shopping at the mall
42. Mediocrity
43. When I am the only one in the bathroom and someone chooses the stall next to mine even though there are like 20 other ones to choose from.
44. People who think "Pro-Choice" is the same as "Pro-Abortion"
45. Fox news
46. When a box is missing 1 or 2 crayons and then everything is all loose.
47. People who stick their gum under stuff and then I inadvertently touch it and feel dirty.
48. Alcohol
49. When people feel the need to make names "fancy" by misspelling them. (See Khanner/Conner)
50. That spooky non-Texas, Texas accent that Bush has.
51. Possums
52. When someone's dog poops on my sidewalk and they leave it there.
53. When people are like, "You don't look 18." Well guess what? I'm not. I'm older.
54. The fact that I feel the need to respond to said questions with "That's because I'm 40."
55. When people? end everything? With a question mark?
56. "Knocked Up." Stupidest movie EVERRRR.
57. When people don't know the difference between irony and coincidence.
58. That my dictionary doesn't recognize assface as a word.
58. When people don't get sarcasm.
59. When people tell me to google things. "Do you know how to get a business loan?" "Well, google it."
60. OBX stickers. Overseas, this style sticker identifies where the vehicle is from. Like, we have "Nebraska" on our plate, they would have UK. Then it became a trend in America starting with people putting "UK" on their car, which turned in to all other sorts of stupid, and I kind of want to kill you because there is NO WAY your car is actually registered in DMB (Dave Matthews Band).
61. When people RIGHT in front of you don't hold the door and drop it in your face.
62. Catfish.
63. All other kinds of freshwater fish
64. When people tell me what I want to do or am trying to do is impossible.
65. When I ask a question and people respond by asking how I don't already know. For instance, I’ll ask “How do you play sudoku?” and the person answers “You don’t know how to play sudoku?” If I knew, I wouldn't have asked.
66. When people use the elevator for one floor. Being fat and lazy doesn't count as a disability.
67. Most contestants on Jeopardy because come on, get over yourselves.
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